Synecdoche, New York

good but moody after watch.

8/12/09
ifc

not fully get what it actually means.
but no idea feel 'something' to this part while watching.

everything is more complicated than you think
you only see a tenth of what is true
there are a million little strings attached to every choice you make
you can destroy your life every time you choose
but maybe you wont know for twenty years
and you may never ever trace it to its source
and you only get one chance to play it out
just try and figure out your own divorce
and they say there is no fate
but there is
it is what you create
and even though the world goes on for eons and eons
you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second
most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born
but while alive you wait in vain
wasting years for a phone call or a letter or a look
from someone or something to make it alright
but it never comes
but it seems to
but it doesnt really
so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope
that something good will come along
something to make you feel connected
something to make you feel whole
something to make you feel loved
and the truth is
i feel so angry
and the truth is
i feel so fucking sad
and the truth is
ive felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long
and for just as long ive been pretending i am ok
just to get along just for
i dont know why
maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery
because they have their own
well
fuck everybody
amen